How to be there for someone grieving at Christmas
During the winter months, some people may find it harder to cope with their grief because they miss or think about the person who has died more often, while others may find that they ’ ra distracted from their grief by social occasions and celebrations. There ’ mho no way to prepare for the emotional affect of mourning, and there ’ s no room of knowing how you ’ ll feel from one day to the next .
That ’ sulfur why it ’ second important to be there for your love one in whatever direction feels right for them. Be guided by their wishes, and let them know you ’ re there to support them – however they decide to spend their time .
Felicity Ward, a counselor for our Online Bereavement Counselling Service, says : “ It ’ south good to try to remain mindful that Christmas is not a joyful fourth dimension for everyone. Don ’ deoxythymidine monophosphate judge to ‘ jolly ’ your sleep together one along if they seem to be struggling. ” And if they appear to be coping, this doesn ’ metric ton mean that they don ’ t calm need your support or help. Always check in and ask .
Invite your friend to be loose about their feelings and talk about the person they ’ ra grieve for. This can be fabulously authoritative for those who worry that the person who has died is being forgotten. In fact, 44 % of the people we surveyed said that reflecting on felicitous memories with the person who died helped them over the gay period.
You might want to help them create a new ritual or custom to remember the person who has died, such as cutting of a catch on from the Christmas tree and laying it at their scratch or a plaza that was particular to them. Or you could suggest going for a memorial walk in concert, where you can chat openly about your memories and what the person meant to you .
Although some people enjoy reflecting on the past, it ‘s besides important to recognise that some people may not be cook to speak openly yet. Try to be mindful of this and let them know that their choices will be respected .
similarly, if you invite person who is grieving to an event over the holidays, make certain they ’ ra aware that you understand if they do n’t feel up to it or can only stay briefly on the day.
While our inquiry showed that 36% of people grieving for someone close to them wanted to keep busy to distract them from their grief, 26% also wanted to take time for themselves, thus try to bear this in mind. possibly let them know that they ’ re welcome and that you ’ five hundred actually like to see them, but only if it feels right for them .
If they turn down the invitation, which they may frequently do, they will hush be grateful that you thought of them. This will help them in the future when they start to feel able to join in with celebrations again.
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Offer practical support
equally well as check in and creating outer space for your loved one to talk about their feelings, you may besides want to offer virtual support – whether that ’ s helping with housework or extend to drive them to the shops. Often, barely leaving the family can feel like a contend, so helping them to get out and about could provide some a lot needed suspension and relieve the imperativeness of going out alone .
You could besides cook their favorite meal, or show up to their door with a takeaway coffee or something homemade. And if they do n’t feel fix to open the door or font anyone precisely however, you can still leave it outside with a note to show you care .
If you ’ re not certain what hold to offer, or what would be most the beneficial, asking ‘ How can I help ? ’ will let your family member or ally know that you ’ re there if, or when, they need you. We ‘re besides running a crusade to encourage the state to become more grief Kind, where you ‘ll find lots more information and advice to help you support person you love through grief .